I’ve had two friends in the past week say they think people are becoming “more self-absorbed,” “ruder,” and “less empathetic.” A close family member said she feels like she needs to lower her expectations for others, even those she feels close to. I have recently a few exchanges with friends/family that have kinda shocked me–not a lot of seeing the other’s perspective sort of thing. What’s up with that?

And it’s not just my world. In December the NYT wrote about this. They said:

Nationwide, incivility and rudeness have been on the rise in all aspects of life — except at work — for the last several years. Even in 2019, 93 percent of people polled across the country reported that uncivil behavior was increasing; 68 percent called this a major problem. And that was before the pandemic and the Jan. 6 insurrection. Since then, things have clearly gotten worse.

There are, of course, lots of reasons why we’re snippy–life is in a good day somewhat stressful and we’ve had over two years of more stressful days. And maybe we should all lower our expectations for everyone–if life is hard, should we be judgemental or have high expectations? I don’t know.

For my part, I am trying to lower my expectations. I am lucky enough to have friends and family that treat me with love and kindness and I’ve realized I don’t need to have the unreasonable hope that everyone will behave thusly. (Although, I will always struggle with this. Life is short. Love all you can.)

What do you think? Are people ruder? And if so, is it strangers–I actually don’t see this in my life–or is it people you know? How are you responding?