A few nights ago, Dr. Feelgood and I watched The Idea of You. If you live in the States, you’ve probably seen one of the bazillion article/videos about this Amazon produced film.
Critics have, given that it is a straight up romance (unlike the book which inspired it), mostly liked it. It’s lauded for its nuance portrayal of a woman of 40 as well as the way it shows the dark side of celebrity.
The NYT’s reviewer wrote:
The Guardian said:
But while the film’s message, that women over 40 have every right to romantic fulfilment, is empowering, it also acknowledges that finding love with an impossibly pretty, sweet-natured pop star comes with its own unique set of challenges.
Sure, it’s also received lots of lukewarm reviews but, for a romance, it’s certainly had a lot of positive attention sent its way.
I could barely sit through it.
For starters, how patently absurd is it that a woman who looks like this would be insecure about her looks?
I just couldn’t get past it.
In what has to be the least likely scene in the film–the first being when her teenage daughter calls her on her landline (most teens don’t even know what that is!)–Hathaway’s character Solène encounters the groupie girlfriends of her boyfriend’s bandmates out by the pool. The young women are all wearing itty bitty bikinis. Seeing them, Solène panics about how she looks in her tank and comes out dressed like this:
Please. It’s impossible to buy.
Especially because earlier in the film, she showed up ready for, ah, action, in this outfit.
This is not the choice of a woman who feels uncomfortable in her own skin.
I had other complaints about the movie (my daughter points out that, as usual, I missed the point of mindless entertainment). For a movie that turns on celebrity as the issue that challenges our couple (the age difference isn’t a big deal after they decide to get involved), the paparazzi comes and goes as aids the plot. The teenage daughter is far too mature for her role. The actual vexing issues underlying the age gap are never mentioned.
Mostly though, I find it beyond irksome that a woman who looks, sounds, and lives like Anne Hathaway (and, for that matter Solène) is trumpeted as the poster child for an authentic woman over 40.
I don’t think so.
If Solène had looked like this women–they’re so lovely!–perhaps the movie might not have seemed so insulting to those of us who are actually (way) over 40 and aging realistically.
But this woman? Not a chance.
Have you seen the movie? Am I too cranky? What did you think?
Yeah—hard pass for me, but I did have to chuckle at the landline comment. I work in a high school, and occasionally a student will have to call home from the office phone. I always ask if they know how to use it (it being a typical phone that you would find in any office), and it’s unsurprising that some of them do not. Recently I asked a student if she knew how to use the phone and her response was, “I think so. My grandparents have a phone like this.” Lol
I would bet that none of our millenial kids even recall our old land line number–we got rid of it ten years ago. The minute I had a cell phone, that is the ONLY number our kids ever used.
Our old landline number lives a ghostly existence as the link to reward programs at grocery and other retail stores. The ones we still use I’ve tried to change (succeeded with a few), but you’d be surprised how many stores make it almost impossible to change your rewards phone number. I don’t have the inclination to jump through hoops, so any of the kids who want the discounts remember the phone number they grew up with even though it’s been gone for probably 15 years.
I so hear you.
Hi, sorry for the very late response to your post but I was just Googling about the pool scene in this movie after a rewatch and your site came up. Note that “millennial” is actually 1981-1996, so this includes Anne Hathaway (and Solène) and many others who grew up with landlines! I think you meant “Gen Z”. I see younger Gen Z’s getting excited over corded phones/rotary phones as though they are “vintage”, and they’ve brought back the low-rise baggy jeans of the 00s as though that’s so “old” and “vintage” as well! Anyway, I agree that it was hard to accept that Solène would be self-conscious about her body. Not because she can’t have insecurities, but because we the viewers had already seen her be extremely confident about her body and her sexuality, including in a bikini, in earlier scenes. So it seemed to be out of character. I think also how comical the outfit she chose was – the denim sack and a scarf and a big hat, it was like an exaggerated disguise! Maybe if they’d shown her “insecurity” with one of those regular thigh-length black beach cover-ups it would have seemed less unbelievable to me. A bit more subtle I guess? I don’t want to say that someone that looks like Anne Hathaway could never feel insecure or self-conscious, because I think we all feel those things no matter what others see us as, but it was more the WAY they did it in this scene of the movie. It seemed to contradict what we’d previously seen of her character, and they put her in such a ridiculous exaggerated outfit.
Exactly. It was just too much. Sure, people with traditionally revered bodies can feel insecure about them but that scene, for me, was over the top.
I have four millennial kids–I am sticking by the idea that none of them would remember our old house phone number! I got my first cell phone in 2000 and that is the number they would know!
Thanks for your insights!
I haven’t watched it yet, but I read an interesting piece yesterday that pointed out that the book doesn’t have an HEA. Makes me wonder why they bothered to adapt a book rather than just writing an original screenplay. *Rhetorical question, of course – nobody wants to take risks on anything original and it’s all about £££*
I think the movie probably improved on the book–the book has a far greater emphasis on rich people doing very rich people things and a much sadder ending for the woman.
I haven’t watched the movie but it’s on my TBW list. Going to be totally shallow here and say that I find Anne Hathaway’s haircut in this movie to be so unflattering that I CAN actually believe her to have insecurities about her looks! Those bangs are awful. But yeah, this is one of those Hollywood Ugly situations that cause me to roll my eyes.
Not that bangs can’t be pretty – just the heavy, heavy fringe does nothing for Anne Hathaway’s delicate face and large eyes.
My 20 yo daughter: I mean they did give her bangs
I haven’t seen the movie and I don’t think I will. But I understand what you are saying, it’s like when they put a beautiful actress with glasses and a ponytail and you have to believe she is awful, and then she takes away the glasses and, yes, we have to believe that suddenly she is ravishing. It is not something realistic.
On the other hand, even beautiful women like Anne Hathaway or models or actresses have got their insecurities. I don’t find it difficult to believe. I differ from your point of view in this, any woman can have body issues, it doesn’t matter that the rest of us see her as perfect or gorgeous.
But I feel more interest in stories about normal women -or men- falling in love with someone rich and famous, or both of them being common people, the salt of the Earth and one of them becomes rich or famous, and how their relationship evolves and manages the challenges.
I’m thinking for instance, in something real, that has happened recently in the UK, which is the awful attacks that Lauren Fryer (26) married to top soccer player Declan Rice (25) has received because of her weight. That’s the kind of story that I find more interesting.
Her job requires her to look glamorous and svelte, which means she’s going to look better as she ages for a long time. But I also think it would be very easy to make her (or most people) look frumpy. Give her some bushy eyebrows, a lady mullet and some frumpy mom jeans and she could totally rock “average mom”. So that on its own wouldn’t discount the premise for me. I generally think our conceptions of “beautiful” and “average” have more to do with presentation than with any intrinsic physical features, which means any actor can look ordinary with the right makeup and clothing.
But my impression is that the movie doesn’t work very hard to sell her as “normal, everyday looking mom-bod lady.” Similarly, the “younger” man also looks pretty much of an age with her, so the whole premise of the novel is diluted, from what I heard.
I agree. But I also am very over the absurd standards of beauty movies like this project.
The reality is that she has to look this hot in order to bag a rock star who is 16years younger. The average 24 year old is not looking to hook up with the average looking 40 year old. Even with her looking hot, the difference in maturity and life experience make the premise ridiculous. But if she were your average looking 40 year old, it would jump from ridiculous to absurd.
I have to agree with your daughter – it was mindless entertainment! As I watched this I kept having the lyrics of ‘Maggie May’ running through my mind.
I love the concept but the execution just didn’t wow me.
When I saw the trailer I thought: For an age gap movie, Anne Hathaway looks the same age as her “younger” lover. I would not be able to suspend my disbelief. And that picture you shared of her in the bathing suit–whoa, thigh gap. Yeah, she’s going to be put on a caftan over that. Hollywood is so toxic. I’m tired also of older woman/younger man being the entire plot, when older man/much younger woman is just another day in business, and the younger woman is usually the only female with a speaking part in the movie. Probably why I read so much romance instead of watching movies, lol.
If you only saw the trailer, then you would’ve missed the context. The heroine only has body issues when she compares herself next to the 20 year olds in thong bikinis hanging by the pool with the band. The movie makes it clear that her self doubt stems not from her weight but gravity, which is realistic. It doesn’t matter how thin or toned you are; a 40 year old is not going to be as perky and firm as a 20 year old. Also, by 40, collagen drops dramatically and no amount of exercise and dieting changes that. This part was realistic.
What I found disappointing is that the movie didn’t always highlight the one nice thing about aging, which is self-confidence. I like to think that women become more confident in who they are as they age and more comfortable in accepting themselves vs. caring about what others think of their looks. The heroine should have seen the 20 year olds, shrugged her shoulders, and walked out in her bikini. In this, I thought it was a missed opp.
I saw the context–I have to say, I still didn’t buy it!
Ayiyiiii- 100% agree.
The book is stronger – both main characters are bright, educated and understand their identities and their dilemma. Their conversation is sharp, witty, honest and what is left unsaid hangs in the air.
In the book they were well matched in drive and individuality. This movie version was hard to watch – dumbing down both the characters and the reality gaps in their lives.
Ended up turning it off after the pool scene mentioned here. Hathaway as a car-singing, sandwich making, divorced, insecure hausfrau with a contemporary art gallery and body confidence issues that require travelling to the south of the France with denim tent dresses… Completely unbelievable for a woman who looks like that. 20, 30 or 40.
Worse, the entire cast felt stagey and camera conscious, like many made-for-tv movies, except perhaps Nick Galitzine – unfortunately garbed in a Harry Styles meets Marky Mark wardrobe.
The daughter looked in her mid-20’s, Hathaway’s performance felt unnatural and forced. From her describing what “throwing” was in ceramics (those were hand pieces) to Hayes’s complete ignorance around art, his own intent and identity.
In the end – never watch a book adaptation expecting the same tone or intelligence. The book had an edge and lots of character and depth. The movie was mushy and unbelievable. A Hallmark movie that unfortunately skims the surface of the complex double standards around age difference, fame and self-worth.
Interesting. Thank you. I haven’t read the book so your feedback is interesting.
I have met beautiful woman of all ages who are very insecure about their looks. This stems from the environment they grew up in and that they currently live in. Hollywood is where you can find the most beautiful woman who are highly insecure with their looks. The problem, The Movie Addresses it subtly in dialogue and visually, is that real beauty come from the inside and not from the viewers perception of the person they are looking at. The writers and director do a great job of repeating this theme throughout the movie.