I grew up in peak beauty tip times. Every magazine, newspaper, and friend’s older sister shared how to look better. Starting in junior high, my friends and I spent hours in the drugstore cosmetics aisles, spending our babysitting money on peppermint Lip Smackers, shimmery blue nail polish from Covergirl, Love’s Baby Soft, and Great Lash (it came out in 1971). I used lemon halves on my elbows, slathered myself in Noxema, and wondered if I should try the Grapefruit diet. (I did not.)
Part of it was the culture–for all that we were counterculture*, we still really really wanted boys** to like us. But part of it was me. I’ve always loved makeup although I think the point of it is to look as though your more attractive self isn’t wearing any.
In my 30s, I was an actual makeup artist for Prescriptives (I kept trying to get my clients to wear less) and I’ve done the makeup for my friends and family when they’ve gotten wed. I am one of those people who, every day, puts on tinted sunscreen, lipstick, and earrings if I’m leaving the house. It makes me happy.
What does not make me happy, however, is spending a lot of money on skin care and makeup. It’s always seemed unnecessary to me. (The best part of working for Prescriptives was the free stuff!) Most skin care products are utter crap (and I say that as someone whose husband is a plastic surgeon) and most makeup is wildly overpriced. (IMHO)
So, for no reason other than I was thinking about how much I love my lipstick this morning, I thought I’d share my favorite beauty products and ask if you have any you love.
I can’t use Retin-A, which my husband the plastic surgeon will tell you is the best skin care product known to woman. Unfortunately, my skin thanks to my Ehlers Danlos is too thin. I do, however, use a daily retinol lotion from Beauty Pie. I love Beauty Pie. Almost all my skin care comes from there–their products are affordable, they don’t irritate my skin, and I love how they make me feel. My favorite products are their Super Retinol and Soul Providers body scrub. I’ve recommended their stuff to many and everyone seems to be happy–even my sons use them!
I didn’t start using a moisturizer until last year other than Vaseline to take off my eye makeup. But this year, my skin got too dry and needed something more for the day time. So, my one real splurge is Bobbi Brown’s Vitamin Enriched Face Base. It’s amazing stuff but I do hate the price. I’m currently searching for something like this but cheaper but, as yet, have been unsuccessful.
I swear by Supergoop! Mineral Mattescreen. I’m not a foundation wearer but I like a tiny bit of coverage. I add a tiny bit of shimmer to it using Beauty Pie’s ProGlo and I’m good to go. If you don’t care about the tint, my daughter says Trader Joe’s offers the same sunscreen for even less money. I set my face with loose power–Neutrogena makes one I like–because I’ve oily-ish skin and because my mother taught me to hate a shiny nose.
For makeup, I’m a minimalist. I use a Beauty Pie cream blush, Covergirl lipstick, and NYX smoke eyeliner. If I want to jazz it up, I have a drawer full of inexpensive lipsticks that I sometimes play with.
Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking WTF? Don’t I know that seeking beauty is a hallmark of the patriarchy? Is there shaming involved? And to you, I say, that’s not how I see it. AND, I promise, next week’s ask will be back on topic.
In the meantime, if there are any beauty buffs out there, what are your favorites?
* Heh. It’s a pun.
** I didn’t meet my first out lesbian until college so my early life was, as most my age, exceedingly heteronormative.
This is a really hard question for someone like me – who has been overweight for pretty much their entire life – to answer. When you’re the fat kid at school you have to learn NOT to care pretty quickly – sticks and stones and all that. I learned very quickly that my road to popularity was being the smart one everyone wanted on their quiz team, because I sure as hell wasnt who they wanted to team up with in PE. There’s way more to unpack about the issue that I have time or space to do here, but I suppose the short answer to the question is that as long as I’m clean and tidy and dressed appropriately, that’s all I care about (or have learned to care about). Clothes never look right on me – I have no boobs so nothing hangs right. The one thing I do have is (at 60) good skin, no grey hairs and few wrinkles (all courtesy of my dad’s genes).
I was never the pretty girl either. I was the smart one but no one liked that because we moved again and again–always tough to be a brainy, snarky new girl. I had boobs from a very young age which I felt made me look fat and boys my age paid zero attention to me. (Or were mean.) I’ve always made up my own looks because I didn’t fit in as a kid and I think that’s helped me enjoy dressing up–it’s on my own terms.
I didn’t come to like my looks until I was in my early 20s for which I am grateful. I think the burden of seeing yourself as a beauty, in the era I grew up in, often meant that once that began to fade, you were less valuable.
We just watched Funny Woman which I loved. I thought it did a great job of showing how beauty is both a gift and a curse to women who wish to be taken seriously.
I have never liked my looks. And I suppose that around the 40 mark, I decided to say ‘fuck it’ and to stop worrying about it. But when I say “stop worrying” I don’t mean that I decided to “love myself” as I am – it’s more that I just don’t look and don’t expect to look good. Gah, I hate how self-pitying that sounds and i don’t mean it that way; growing up overweight (and honestly not because of overindulgence because there was no junk food about and we couldn’t afford a lot of sweet stuff when I was younger) I was just a sedentary kid who preferred books to anything energetic. So the “not caring” is more a self-defence mechanism than anything else, and it’s one that’s very hard to shake.
Not caring is kinda the gold standard, I think.
By looking at my lifestyle, the objective answer is no, I don’t really care much. I say that because I let my hair go grey naturally, I’ve rarely worn makeup, and don’t even have a skin care regime. I use a decent moisturizer on my face after washing and that’s it. I’m outside a lot with my volunteer work so I use physical sunblock (no chemical ones) but not overly much because I tan easily and almost never burn. I don’t personally understand plastic surgery for cosmetic reason, although to each their own as far as what gives confidence and lets one feel good about themselves. I’ve always had this weird attitude that looking younger didn’t make you younger, so why bother.
That said, I might feel this way partly because I never had to worry much about how I looked growing up. I was athletic and slender, got boobs early and had a good figure. Clothes were easy to find and looked decent on me. I ate what I wanted to partly because I was active and while I didn’t play many sports except swimming (I was in a back brace for scoliosis for 4 years) I loved doing things that made me sweat: working with horses, mowing lawns, dancing, swimming competitively, etc. On the other hand, I got too much attention due to my body which led to some bad things happening.
Nowadays I find I’m having a little difficulty adjusting to my body’s changes. I have a belly now that just literally popped out over the course of a year about a year ago, even though I didn’t gain weight, change eating habits or exercise less. Genetics are wonderful?? Clothes do not look great on me now, especially dressy things. It’s been a bit depressing, but I’m trying to basically ignore it. My husband still thinks I’m cute and I’m physically in decent shape so why should I care if I look my age? Life is too short to care if someone is judging me because I have a belly now. (I’m working on the not caring bit…)
My sister has a theory that, by their mid-forties, most women are “invisible” to the culture at large. Not sure how accurate that is, but I do know that over the past decade or so (I’m now 66), I’ve given up wearing high heels, dying my hair, wearing makeup, and wearing dresses. My skin care regime is the same as it has always been: Neutrogena face wash with a mild buf-puf and Oil of Olay (with an SPF) facial moisturizer. I always slather on body lotion (I’m not picky—my kids know anything from Bath & Bodyworks is welcome for a gift) all over after my morning shower. I always use sunscreen outside and generally wear long pants and long sleeves, even in very hot weather. At this stage of life, I’m more concerned about keeping my body healthy than trying to look a certain way. However, there are certain days when I pass a mirror and think to myself, “Who is that old lady? Where did my Disco Dolly persona go?” Lol
I think it depends on where you live. I live in a place where the 65+ population is huge and (we think) hip. So, I don’t feel invisible here. But, when I was in Denver–a much larger, younger place–I did.
I got makeup for my 13th birthday and for that first year, I overdid it. Then I learned to tone it down. In my late 20s, I developed an allergy to eye make up and stopped wearing a lot of makeup. Like Caz, I’ve been the fat girl for most of my life (except for 3 years in my mid 20s). While I like clothes, I have a hard time finding clothes that fit well, are comfortable, and that I like. My hair started turning gray by my 21st birthday (yay genetics) and I proudly say I have wash and wear hair, no maintenance required beyond shampoo, conditioner, and a comb. As I’m awkward, in addition to being fat, doing my nails was never something I did well so I just concentrate on keeping the nails clean and trimmed. Now I’m retired, I only wear minimal make up for special occasions. I’ve been losing weight for the past 10 years. I am happy that clothes are fitting better these days even though I still have a lot of weight to lose. So my beauty routine these days is soap, moisurizer, exercise, and sleep. No special products, though I do like Nivea and Bath and Body Works lotions. I’ve seen several consumer reports on the local news that compare drug store brand beauty products with the more expensive designer brands. The consensus seems to be, don’t waste your money. Most people just need a good cleanser, moisurizer, and sun screen, and the drug store brand works just as well as the designer brand.
I’ve never had “pretty” hands. My palms are wide and my fingers are average length, no tapering piano playing hands for me! 🙂 I’ve never painted my nails, instead keeping them very short. I’m always snagging them on something if I don’t keep them short, and they just get dirty at the barn.
I joke that I’m low maintenance. But seriously, I always seem to be doing something with my hands that causes my nails to snag, split, or chip. Keeping my nails short just works for me. I don’t wear rings on my fingers for much the same reasons. But I do love my earrings.
My nails peel so badly that I never wear nail polish except on my toes which I always have painted. And I love love jewelry.
I, too, love my earrings! I have many, many pairs and it’s something my husband and children give me for birthdays and Christmas. Easy for them and I love it. I especially like quirky or unusual earrings that don’t cost too much.
I’m not careful with my hands. I don’t know how I do it, but I keep damaging the prongs or bending the band on my engagement ring. I lost the stone out of my first one because of that, and I’ve had the replacement repaired 4 or 5 times. (It needs repairing right now.) If I had to do it over again I would chose a style where the stone sits flush with the band instead of the traditional solitare.
Oddly enough, I put more effort into my appearance now (late 30s) than I did in my younger days. As a tween/teen, I definitely went through a “makeup is fake and stupid!” phase…which was really about my insecurities about being fat, and therefore I’d never look pretty, so why should I even try?
I’m still fat, but I can now admit to myself that I want to be perceived as attractive, and I can believe that’s an okay thing for me to want. My wardrobe is 90% dresses (which I genuinely enjoy wearing — no binding waistbands, only one garment but it looks like you tried!), and I also wear makeup most days. My favorite product is the Lisa Eldridge True Velvet matte lipsticks. They’re pricey at $36, but the colors are beautiful, the formula is impeccable, and the packaging is lovely. For me, they’re a special indulgence and always make me feel more attractive and confident.
Those lipsticks look lovely.
I love dresses. Exactly because- or rather when – they can be so comfortable, while being a bit of pretty, via colour, print, cut. I like colour, so over the years, I have picked up a variety of comfortable dresses in pretty colors and really like wearing them.
I tend to go with clothes, comfortable and pretty, to make me feel and look good.
Makeup not so much, I never really liked it, and by now, I just feel that I will never look like a 20-year old, so I just use a lipstick for „formal“ occasions. I love Chubby Sticks intense by Clinique, I use a little on my cheeks like rouge, and as lipsticks.
I too love dresses. I wear almost no skirt or nice pants. I’m either in workout clothes, jeans, or dresses. Especially living in a warm climate, they’re so cool in the summer!
I do care how I look, and I am not excited about the changes I’ve experienced as I grow older, but I attempt to be comfortable in my own skin, and I mean attempt, because a lot of times I wish I looked different in some way. I’ve been programmed by my family and by society to believe I need to look a certain way, and it’s hard to let that go.
That being said, I’ve let my hair go gray, despite my sisters’ and friends’ saying “I could never go gray.” I’ve stopped blow drying my naturally curly hair and let my hair go natural, and it’s so happy. I am pretty minimalist with my makeup with none many days, or tinted moisturizer with sunscreen, but for special occasions I will put on the whole shebang.
My favorite products are Evan Healy’s lip balm (get it at my co-op) and it Cosmetics CC Color Correcting Full Coverage Cream with spf 50. It’s a quick way to even out my skin tone, get my sunscreen and even helps a bit with under eye circles. It says it’s full coverage, but I think it’s more in the medium category, and it’s especially good for traveling, which I am doing right now. Aloha everyone!
I do care about how I appear both to others and to myself. I had bad skin until well into my 40s and so I tried (and still do) to emphasise my best features which does include very good hair. In my father’s family, they go grey before 30 and I refused to let that happen then or now in my early 70s. I have a great hairdresser who does a fab cut and colour and I go every 4 weeks. I also have a wonderful chiropodist who keeps my tootsies looking great. One of the (very, very) few benefits of bad skin in your younger years is that you have fewer wrinkles – or at least in my case. That awful oily skin now looks pretty damned good if I say so myself now that my skin looks better than it did 40 years ago. I use Nivea day and night creams, always a factor 30-50 on my face and never leave the house without lippy and earrings. And I do treat myself with earrings; love jewellery and I have a nice collection. My husband died suddenly just over a year ago, without any warning, and so I have made an effort to keep myself looking as good as I can as I always did for him. One thing I did do after probate was finished was to buy myself a wonderful pair of antique pearl, ruby and diamond earrings (eeek!) and I did it to remind myself of all of the wonderful, lovely times we had together for 44 years. I call them my Widow’s Earrings but I know he would laugh at me for that and tell me not to be such a silly girl.
I love that you bought those earrings. Just lovely.