I just watched the Netflix romcom The Family Affair. If you haven’t seen it, it’s fun. But I found myself distracted in the movie by Nicole Kidman’s weird face and, whenever he took his clothes off, Zac Efron’s absurdly jacked body. Here’s the trailer:
Now, I do like a well-constructed man–at my age, ogling seems kinda of sweet, right? But, in this film, when I first saw a shirtless Efron, my response was WTF not ooh baby. I just don’t find men that are exceedingly muscle sexy. Either on the screen OR on the page.
So the many descriptions I’ve recently read (mostly in contemps), where men are described as having shoulder like boulder and mountain ranges, abs where one could place quarters in between each muscle, well, find myself skimming. It’s not hot… to me.
What do I find sexy in a hero? Brains, obviously. A commitment to using birth control. A focus on mutual pleasure. But none of those are physical traits. If I had to pick a trait or two, I’d pick height–I’m tall–and a wide smile.
How ’bout you? What floats your boat in a hero? And what turns you off? And, did you see Family Affair? Thoughts?
Adoration of the heroine/hero in question; he should think she’s/he’s/they have hung the moon. That’s wayyy more important to me than physical appearance.
You are on the money. I always told my kids that I wanted them to find someone who was their biggest fan. That’s the best kind of partner there is.
I like heroes with dimples and absurdly long eyelashes. Truly.
Took a quick look at the trailer. You are right—Nicole Kidman looks weird. When these beautiful movie stars get layers of work done, they converge into resembling Faye Dunaway or Joan Rivers.
Covers where the hero’s musculature is too well-defined (and especially where his jeans are falling off his hips to show that v shape) turn me off because those look like his body fat ratio is skewed. Which it probably is.
What physical traits I find attractive in a hero… eyes. I grew up around people with dark brown or black eyes, so I find colors like blue, green, hazel and grey unusual and sexy.
I’m the opposite! Everyone in my family has blue, green, or grey eyes (my brother’s are so blue he looks photoshopped), so I find dark eyes mysterious and unusual and sexy.
You’re right, Nicole Kidman is looking weird. It’s not just her face, her hair looks like it’s a wig. But Kathy Bates is in it too and that that would make it worth watching for me.
As for what I like in a hero, like others I prefer someone less “cut”. I like dimples, a nice smile, laughing eyes, a good sense of humor, honesty, honor, and having a sense of purpose. Being smart, not necessarily book smart, is also very attractive. Looks are not as important as personality, but I do appreciate a good looking tall dude (I’ve always been on the large size so someone shorter than me makes me feel self conscious – a me problem, I know).
Nicole looks like she’s had botched cosmetic surgery, but Kathy Bates looks amazing!
It’s interesting–Bates (if you ask me) has clearly had “work.” I’d hazard she had a face and eye lift. But her cosmetic surgery just makes her look like she hasn’t aged much. Kidman looks so different than her old self to me.
I simply don’t understand why so many actresses go for cosmetic surgery to look younger long after it’s possible to do so without distorting their features. I mean, I get a middle-age (!) actress using botox in small amounts to help smooth wrinkles. But they always go too far with fillers and puffers and other weird stuff. They end up looking so much worse than if they’d just accepted aging naturally.
For me, it’s confidence. I find confidence in one’s self and abilities to be an amazing turn-on, followed by a wicked, dry sense of humor. Physically, I do like a fit man, but he doesn’t have to have a crazy cut body. I mean, if he is young, then fine because it makes more sense. But at my age, I’m looking at more “mature” fellas, and if they are cut like Zac appears to be in this movie, then I wonder that they aren’t too focused on themselves and spend too much time at the gym.
Long fingers, big hands. Nice forearms and a lean, rangy, tall physique. Expressive eyebrows. Big noses. Dark hair and light eyes. Curly hair. Indeterminate “ethnic” features. I hate muscle-bound bodies. The funny part about romance novels is they tend to reshash the same “average” ideal hero but attraction is so particular and unique for each person. I wish that each hero and heroine were depicted that way, having unique attractions to each other, rather than just being boilerpate “hot.”
I love that concept. It’s interesting–I’ve read plenty of books in the past few years where the hero is explicit about loving curvier/plush-sized women but that’s about the only thing where a lead explicitly rules out a physical type.
For me, it’s never about the looks (in books, movies, or real life). It’s the smile, sense of humor, and overall decency as a human being who treats his partner with love and respect. That’s my definition of a sexy hero.
I’m not one for the extremely ripped body, either. Too many muscles look decidedly unattractive, although I have to say that the Chris Evans who steps out of the machine that turns him into Captain America in that movie is pretty much perfect 😉 Mostly, I go for toned when it comes to physique, but a great smile and dry sense of humour will do it for me every time.
Patience and kindness. The sense that the hero has been changed for the better through loving the hero/heroine. Physically, I don’t really care for the jacked, hairless bodybuilder type, but the exterior doesn’t end up mattering if someone is empathetic and loving.
But also, several qualities that I find compelling and attractive in fictional heroes I would not want to deal with in real life anymore.
Yes. I’ve always thought there’s a distinction between people you’d like to live with and those you just find, fictionally, alluring.
The truth is that I care about the face hahaha I prefer a boy with sweet features and a small nose, I’m not too attracted to that square and sharp jaw.
Since I’m 27 years old I want a guy who cares about having a healthy weight since that’s a sign of whether he’ll care in the future but “healthy weight” has a wide spectrum so it doesn’t matter if he’s muscular, or just toned or just maintains himself well with low intensity exercise, I myself am a low intensity exercise girl who is not full of muscles so as my grandmother says, “Don’t demand a ken if you’re not a barbie.”
And being Barbie is too much work so…no Ken lol.
As for character, I like kind and calm guys. I don’t find bad tempers or raising their voices attractive, having a sense of humor is also important.
I love your grandmother!
Trust in the heroine. Willing to put his life in her hands. The exemplar being Aral Vorkosigan, or, if one goes platonic partnerships, Willie Garvan and Daniel Leary.
Sexy and what I want in a hero aren’t quite the same thing. When I think sexy, I think Alain Delon (or King Charles II) giving a moldering glance that says, “I want you!” (with a flashing neon sign above saying, “Run, Girl! Run!”
But when I think of what I want in a hero, he’s the guy that’s in there for the long run. He’s the one who will have your back through thick or thin. He’s the one who wants you, as you are, and doesn’t want to change you but will help you do whatever you want.
As for how he looks, no muscle-bound body builders with no necks and six-pack abs, please. And definitely no tats. I’ll put up with the scruff, but I expect him to shave for important occasions.
Basically, I ignore the author’s description and fill in the blanks for myself.